The Value of Time, Part 2

There is a time for everything,
   and a season for every activity under the heavens:
 ⁶ a time to search and a time to give up,
   a time to keep and a time to throw away,
 ⁷ a time to tear and a time to mend,
   a time to be silent and a time to speak
Ecclesiastes
3:1,6-7

You just knew that this passage would be quoted in a series of blog posts.  In my continuing series on the Value of Time, I want to address the idea of awareness of time.  What does this have to do with relationships?  Quite a bit actually.  It is not just being aware of what time it is or how long you have been in a certain relationship but the meaning we bring to time.  What do I mean by that?  Well I'll tell you...

The first few dates(that is what us old people call social interaction with potential) can be seen by the length of time spent together.  If it is a bad "date" you are keenly aware that you may never get those couple of hours back.  You are aware!  If it is a good to exciting date then the time flies and you don't want the evening to end.  You are not aware of time in this case because you are caught up in the fun, the attraction and the possibilities.  You can look back and say, "wow, where did the time go!" and that usually means that things are good.  

In an established dating relationship, awareness of time gets tricky.  For one person, they need more time to decide if they can commit their heart fully, long term(marriage).  The other person most likely has had enough time to decide and has already committed their heart fully and time cannot move fast enough for them.  The question is, can the deliberate person decide and can the already decided person wait.  Another way to look at is some of us are way quicker than others to give our hearts away.  Others of us are way more careful.  These differences are key to recognize.  

In a marriage, awareness of time is important.  Why?  Well, just like the above example, we all tend to move at different paces.  What is quick to one person is slow to another.  In a marriage, doing projects or leaving for an outing, getting on the same time page can alleviate some conflict.  If one person in the marriage is slow, then it is a way for the fast person in the marriage to show that they care by being patient and not make a big deal out of it.  The slow person can show that they value the other person by giving them the gift of moving faster.  It is an opportunity to show caring for each other, not a running battle or criticism waiting to happen.  In either case, whether slow or fast, accepting the other's style is part of love.  Don't make it into a battle, there are more important issues in marriage than this.

Awareness of time has many applications depending upon the type of relationship you are in.   If you need more help in making sense of time and what it means, contact Shawn @coachingthrough.com.