Driven by Tasks or Driven by Relationship?

"My formula for living is quite simple. I get up in the morning and I go to bed at night. In between, I occupy myself as best I can."--Cary Grant
 

Based upon the above quotation from Cary Grant, occupying ourselves when we are awake will either go one of two ways...Tasks or Relationships.  Tasks or projects can drive people.  There is much to be gained from setting a goal, building something, fixing something, cleaning something, creating something and definitely finishing something.  Half of us really get a lot of personal satisfaction and well being from doing things and accomplishing tasks.  The other half is energized by relating to people.  Talking, interacting, meeting new people, staying connected to old friends, managing many relationships, or just being around an event with lots of people doing positive things.  Both styles are needed.  Both styles need each other. 

A relational person can accomplish non-relational tasks but it is more rewarding doing them for someone or doing the tasks with someone.  A project person can be relational but their minds can drift into thinking about tasks they could be doing instead of socializing.  It takes a certain amount of flexibility and understanding to make a relationship work when dealing with these two elements.  The task/project person has to learn to set aside their work to relate to others and especially a significant other meaningfully.  A relational person has to learn to let the project person go...meaning, give them space to do stuff. 

The project person likes to talk about their process of doing.  Obstacles, things learned, specifics of technique and methodology and their deeper meanings and applications.  Not the conversational items a relational person usually cares for.  The relational person loves to talk about people, and what they talked about with that person or people in detail.  Social happenings and trends, other's relationships, ups and downs.  The project person has to strain to track with all the bits of info regarding intertwining relationships. 

People have preferences.  Things that they value over other things.  Finding someone who can appreciate and respect your preferences and also genuinely interact outside their own preference, is a treasure that must be treated as such...a treasure.  Do yourself and your future significant other or present significant other a favor, try to identify which of the two you are task/relationship, and try to identify the task/relationship in the other person.  Then learn to speak into and with that "other" preference.  You will find treasure there.

Shawn