Meaning, the ever elusive understanding between two people Part 1

"I am not crazy...my mother had me tested"--Sheldon Cooper supersmart supernerd of Big Bang Theory

Crazy is the way we are made to feel sometimes when everything that made sense to us does not register as coherent in the person we like, love or want to be with.  This crazy feeling we get like I am speaking Chinese to someone (I don't know Chinese but they are acting like I am speaking gibberish) confounds us.  It truly makes us feel like we are crazy or that they are crazy.  Either way the problem often lies in the meaning of the words we say.

Everything from "let's have coffee sometime" to "I Love You" has different meanings to different people based upon their life experience/family etc...    The start of a relationship, the 1st invite to something(us old people call it a date) you really have to sort through what means what, if anything.  Many of us get stuck here, thrown into a Tizzy of "what do you think they meant by that", then we act on whatever feeling that overwhelms us.  Some of us charge right in (that's me), others lay low and wait.  At least in the beginning your radar is up trying to discern the meaning because you know that you don't know this person very well.  You are open to a wide range of  meanings.

Some people like to use the "relationship defining talk" RDT when they want to know what is going on or are hopeful that the other person is as interested in the relationship as the other.  Of course you could just makeout too.  Anyway...in the RDT, you can often hear what you want to hear as your brain is flooded with emotion and hope.  The meaning of what is said like "wow, I don't know when we will be able to see each other because our schedules are so different" can be missed.  To one person, seeing each other at all will be thrilling.  To the other person, this commitment is scary.  One sees hopeful, promising time spent getting to know someone, the other, is more "we'll see" uncertainty of "is this a good idea?"  Both meanings are valid.  It is the communication of what a "relationship" or this relationship is what will hopefully be sorted out and talked about later as each person tries to understand where the other is coming from.  It is this piece, of understanding the meaning of the words that the other person uses is key to any relationship.

Think on that if it makes sense to you, I hope it does.  Feel free to comment or ask questions.

thanks for you time,
Shawn